...four more to go. This momentous week marks the end of intern year and welcomes in more responsibilities, big boy Call nights, and longer hours (though of course he will never exceed his 80 hours/week!) I gotta say... I think Kyle is pretty excited! But what did I learn this year?
1. It is important to make friends with the other wives/girlfriends that are in this with you... so that you have people that understand what you are going through. Thankfully this year, several of the wives started a monthly get-together... one girl was in charge of planning the dinner either at home or out every month. It was/is something I have looked forward to since it is sometimes the only time that I get to see some of them.
2. Conversely, it is also important to make friends outside of the residency world. It has been SO good to have people that keep me in touch with "reality". Because this life is really sort of surreal. And everyone else that is in it is capitalizing on their limited family time with their own families... so it is nice to have friends with normal "9-5" lives. They are also the ones you can talk to about residency life a little more freely with...even if they don't understand it all.
3. Because here is something else I have learned : never brag about your husband getting off work early, or having an easy rotation etc to your residency life friends. Jealousy will ensue. Awkwardness happens. Just keep it to yourself... or rejoice with your normal life friends.
4. Having a baby doesn't mean life is over. It just means stepping out of your comfort zone more often. You CAN get out of the house. You CAN still have hobbies. You CAN still meet up with friends for lunch. You CAN still have dates with your husband. It just might mean planning around nap times, or paying for a babysitter, or packing a suitcase size purse with bottles and food pouches and toys so you can stay away from home longer. In fact, my baby seems much happier if we DO get out of the house every now and then. I don't have to use my baby as an excuse for why we can't do things... because we really can.
5. Hobbies keep me sane. Sometimes being a stay at home mom gets a little depressing... being home all day and sometimes night alone with him. Realizing that I have already watched everything I ever wanted to catch up on with Netflix. Is my life seriously about the next meal Myles is ready for or the next diaper to change? And then I remember that no... I can stop being lazy and get off my butt. He takes pretty good naps, he is getting more able to entertain himself. I CAN do something fun. Like teach myself to sew, or paint a small piece of furniture. Or bake muffins for the residents. Or landscape the house. Doing something for ME during the day doesn't make me selfish. It helps keep me ME.
6. I can do everything. I choose to do everything. If I am able to mow the lawn myself, then Kyle gets to spend time with us when he gets home. If I cook dinner, we get to eat together. If I take care of chores around the house, we can relax a little easier. Sure I ask for help when I am feeling overwhelmed, and I still leave the litter-box and de-spidering up to him... but if I get the errands run or the laundry washed before he gets home, then he gets that extra time to relax and play with Myles or snuggle with me instead of leaving work to come home and work. And that is worth it. I also love knowing that I am capable of doing everything when I put my mind to it.
Congrats on being one year in! These are all excellent lessons that I completely agree with, and I think you learned them faster than I did :) It took me a couple of years to really settle in and make friends and find my place here - so you're set up well for success in making it through the rest of residency. And seriously, it doesn't always feel like it in the moment, but it really does go by fast - somehow we're already at the 4 in, 1 to go point!
ReplyDeleteMyles is looking so grown up too!