Last week some good friends announced that they had been matched with a birth mom and will be adopting a baby girl in June. The husband asked me at church, "so what is the hardest thing about parenthood?"
I was sort of on the spot and I said something about discerning why he is crying...
When I got home I knew that was the wrong answer and thought something about finding time to spend with Kyle; not being just a wife anymore.
But I think after thinking about it for a week, I have my answer.
For me, the hardest part about being a parent is how a simple comment from someone(s) can make me feel like the worst mother in the world. I tell myself its no big deal what they just said, I'm doing the best job I can, but it is hard to get small things people say out of your head when you are going through a rough time. Something that might have just been a "rough moment" for you turns into a cataclysmic event because someone's opinion or advice is playing over and over telling you that you are doing everything wrong. Even if that isn't what they said or meant at all.
It also doesn't help that the rough moments are at night when you are left alone with the child during Night Float month.
And then I go into my son's room after 9 hours of sleep (him not me...) and I pick him up. And he smiles.
When I've spent the night telling myself I am the worst parent in the world, a smile from my son squashes that lie to a pulp. Because to him, I am absolutely the best person to walk the earth.
So while I have been thinking about what is the hardest part; I am immediately reminded that this is the best part.
If you are visiting from Medical Monday, Welcome! This blog throws together some experiences with our life in medicine (my husband is a Surgery intern), as well as DIY, home decorating, recipes, and now Parenthood. Thanks for stopping by!
Where is the "Like" button? Such a great, honest, and insightful post.
ReplyDeleteSome of the hardest things in life do turn out to the best:-) Love that smile.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Medical Mondays! We have a 7 month old little guy too and I can so relate :) Looking forward to reading along!
ReplyDeleteWhat a cutie!!! I think one of the best gifts you can give to your child is (sometimes) putting him/her second in order to put your marriage first. It's hard, but sometimes you just have to put daddy first. I think as mommies, we have a very hard time doing this... especially when they are so young, helpless, and ADORABLE!!! And, honestly, don't listen to random people's comments. Everyone has differing opinions. What matters is what is important to you and what works for you! :)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Medical Mondays! Your son is adorable! Nine hours sounds divine. We call our 14-month-old a newborn because she still refuses to sleep through the night, sometimes waking TWICE before morning. Being our fifth, I should have some trick up my sleeve :) Totally feel you on the hardest and best.
ReplyDeleteAww thanks for sharing. My husband and I are hoping to start a family soon and I love hearing real accounts from mommies. Hi from medical Mondays :)
ReplyDeleteSooo behind on blog commenting, but I had to come back and say: hang in there, and you are doing awesome, momma! I know it's so hard to feel like we're doing a good job, and even harder when we've got these husbands who are gone long days (and nights - boo, night float) and we're home alone - but it's hard enough without us making it harder on ourselves. So I say trust your instincts and remember that those other opinions are just opinions. Because if you're trying your own best, then it's exactly what your little guy needs and wants, and he loves you for it. (And now I will remind myself about this too as I continue to work on getting over my self-imposed mom guilt over quitting nursing earlier than planned...) Also lately I've found that talking with other new moms helps SO much. Even if their difficult issues are a bit different from mine, it's so helpful to remember that everyone has them. And when I encounter ones who have my same issues, I feel so much better just remembering that I'm not alone (again, so easy to feel when you're home all day).
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