boxes

 
Today begins the time of boxes.  Living out of them.  The thing I have been trying to avoid so much.  

My parents decided its time to get everything we own and don't HAVE to use, in a box.  So they drove up last night and will be making us work all day to make sure that everything is carefully wrapped in a box.

I'm overwhelmed.  The move.  The baby.  The idea of residency.

We don't even know when we are moving.  But everything will go into a box.

The VA loan fell through.  Long story... which basically comes down to an HPSP student, (military scholarship) while having the "90 days of active duty time" required for a VA loan... does not have the right TYPE of active duty time required for a VA loan.  And so the VA should have never told us (6 weeks ago) that we qualified.

Enter new loan.  More money.  More time.  Praise the Lord for a gracious seller.

We still don't have a closing date set.

We can't book a moving truck.  But our stuff will be packed.

Our monthly payment is a lot more than the VA loan would have been... still manageable... but not what it was going to be.

I'm going to keep working in the meantime... because what else is there to do?

We are both very frustrated right now.  I can't be excited about the move right now when everything is so uncertain.  Why dream about what I'm going to do to the house when it feels like the deal could collapse at any minute?  (Not that there is any reason for it to.. but that's just how it feels after the week we just had.)

And how can I be excited about moving when the house was the main thing I was excited about?  The house was/is going to be my new job.

Because everything else about this move scares me to death.  Yes it is an awesome city.  Yes we will find somewhere to live even if that place is an extended stay hotel.   

But we don't know anyone there.  I'm pregnant with no one around.  No friends (yet).  No family.  And my husband will be a surgery resident intern.  Averaging 80 hours a week, 4 days off per month.  And while the hospital he is working for could potentially be understanding... his particular specialty isn't exactly family friendly like Peds or Emergency Med can be.  Neither of us have ever experienced anything like this before.  Sure med school gives you a taste... a couple of weeks at a time.. but then it is time for a different team, a different schedule, a different rotation.  This is our life for the next 5 years.  And really doesn't get much better afterward... sure more money, but at what cost?

It would just be nice to have the house stuff over with.  So we could get settled into our new surroundings, find a church, meet the neighbors, before our entirely new life starts.  Now its looking like we will be unpacking all these boxes days before it all begins.